life!!!

On the first day, God created the dog and said:'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed.On the second day, God created the monkey and said:'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.' The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'And God agreed. On the third day, God created the cow and said:'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.' The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?' And God agreed again.On the fourth day, God created man and said:'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.' But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, give me the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?''Okay, sure' said God, 'You asked for it.' So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.Life has now been explained to you.

Making a baby. This is hilarious!There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny. The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...' 'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.' 'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' 'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'. After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?' 'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.' 'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!' 'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.' 'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith. 'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.' 'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said. 'Oh, my word!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. 'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.''She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith. 'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look' 'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. 'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.' Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?' 'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.' 'Tripod?' 'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.' Mrs. Smith fainted

what a life...

Its been a while i didn't post anything..what a life!! busy with work? i don't think so..well,for pass few days there a lot of thing happen around me..the thing that i will never forget while im still working here..its about my ex-roomate..poor her..she come here all the way from home just to work..fall in love with the staff that also work at the same place.okay, at first good..the relationship is like any other couple..but after a while,there's a story regarding about this two..the worse part is the guy started to hit her..every time they started to fight, the whole quarters can hear their scream..espcially the girl..crying in pain..can't do anything..only listen to the cry and the scream..talk to the girl to leave the stupid guy? believe me..thousand times already..so its depend to the girl to decided to leave the stupid guy..and on the 24th sept..i was working in the afternoon shift..while i am waiting for the time to get ready to work..suddenly i heard a scream..when i listen carefully, it was her voice..my gosh!! i feel so stupid coz can't do anything..later that day, around 4 pm..she call me to my work place..her voice sound like want to cry..i asked her is evrything okay? she said yes and why..i told her that i heard her scream that afternoon..she sounds surprise..and she tell me evrything..i fell so angry when i heard it..i told her to leave the guy..no used for her to be with that guy that didn't appreciate her at all..and she told me that she gonna leave him..on that very night..she don't care anymore..so, to cut the story short, she leave that STUPID RONNEY..

i believe that she's happy now..even the cut is still there, but it will heal..that what i call the person that didn't appreciate the love that God gave to him..he should appreciate her.he's lucky because she's with him 24/7..but for the person that have to be far from each other? hard huh?
life!! life!! what a life?